He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
