My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
