He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
