upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize