Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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