"it" just moved
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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