oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We left the knife in your bed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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