Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
