how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
