I am puke
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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