it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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