i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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