Grow some girl-balls and come out already
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
