it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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