My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
