It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
