im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize