He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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