i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just threw up on my dentist
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize