Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
