5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize