I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
