goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
