ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
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I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize