Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize