I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
