farters have to be the big spoon...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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