Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
