The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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