May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
