dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
