Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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