Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
