You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
