if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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