I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
