Duck Duck Cougar?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
