Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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