I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
