my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize