If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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