I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
