For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
