new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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