Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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