just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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