we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
