Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
where are you?
Hypothermia
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
