That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
