I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i believe in u and ur pee
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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