Sry I called you an 8
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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