So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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