I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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