How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize