As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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