So drunk its hurt
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
