yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
