Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
